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[Sunday 6th February 2005 12:04] ( snipits from my book of nothing ) 7 !

[Tuesday 1st February 2005 10:20] [ mood | blah ] [ music | mars volta - march 13th la la la ] i am exhausted! not just tired, but physically and emotionally exhausted. so exhausted, that i can feel it in my face, and all over my body. my brain is crying out for rest. i feel dead. 10 !

[Sunday 30th January 2005 00:41] [ mood | tired ] [ music | nothing : - ( ] fire engine man hehe ! !

[Wednesday 26th January 2005 23:25] [ mood | tired ] [ music | desperate houswives ] im in the mood for some toast .... toast? anybody? no? toast? anybody? no? toast? anybody? no? 3 !

[Sunday 16th January 2005 23:40] [ mood | tired ] [ music | kasabian ] new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! new car! 13 !

[Friday 14th January 2005 19:10] [ mood | refreshed ] [ music | mars volta ] ( update ) 2 !

[Friday 14th January 2005 10:52] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | nothing ] ( my mini stress ) 3 !

[Tuesday 11th January 2005 17:53] 01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you. 02. I will then tell you what song[s] remind me of you. 03. Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise. 04. Lastly, I will try to name a single word that best describes you. 05. Put this in your journal p.s. i dont like ska very much, but join; ska_uk 14 !

[Monday 10th January 2005 19:06] i feel ugly and worthless 5 !

[Monday 10th January 2005 14:53] [ mood | tired ] [ music | nothing ] i might be getting a new car this week. wow i cant wait. anything will be such a luxury compared to what i have now. first exam tomorrow (its a retake cause i did badly in the summer)- its on cognitive and developmental psychology. the developmental stuff i know okay-ish, it's all coming back to me when i look over my notes. but the cognitive is CRAP. there is SO much to learn, and i dont know any of it. ARGH. i feel really bad that ive only revised for about an hour and a half for this exam. what is happening to me. i need to sort out my brain. 2 !

[Wednesday 5th January 2005 12:02] [ mood | thirsty ] [ music | nout ] i found some gorgeous bags on ebay.... i wish i used it : - ( !

[Monday 3rd January 2005 21:46] [ mood | tired ] [ music | rival schools ] okay - so im back from my long week away. and im exhausted, ive already fallen asleep twice this afternoon. it was a stressful week - a very stressful. i was running around the whole time, doing a hundred things at once. but at the end it was really rewarding. the social bit in the evening was great, all the ppl my age had a common room where we would relax and drink in the evenings. that was the most enjoyable part. being able to see old friends and just have fun after an exhausting day. i love camps i do. they bring out a really good side of me. i felt strong again for a while - like the old me. i dont think my friends realise how much i do on a camp like that. ah well. i REALLY dont want to go to school tomorrow - meh. i want to sleep all day. but at least i get to see my girls and gareth. i miss them. 4 !

[Wednesday 22nd December 2004 00:52] [ mood | blah ] have you ever been torn? ever been really happy but immensely sad at the same time? i am happy - so unbelievably happy. i have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. we havent known each other for a long time, but that doesnt matter at all. i already feel like i know him as well as i do my closest friends. we are so similar, but yet really different. but the amazing thing is - is that he understands me, and actually cares about me. no one has ever cared for me as much as he does. he is on my mind 24/7 and ive never felt this way for anyone else before - i dont know what id do if i lost him, id be broken. but underneath, im still having my problems. i dont know what i can do about them. they stress me out beyond belief - to the point that im not the same person i used to be. i cant concentrate like i used to do, and my cognition sucks now - i just cant do some of the stuff i used to be able to do .... and its SO frustrating. on top of that, i miss my friends too :( im torn between two extremes. the first being in total bliss and ecstacy. the other being on the verge of a breakdown. 15 !

[Friday 3rd December 2004 20:39] [ mood | sad ] [ music | smashing pumpkins ] aaaah stop shouting, just stop shouting. i cant take this anymore 3 !

[Friday 3rd December 2004 12:08] [ mood | happy ] [ music | mars volta ] oh yeh - i forgot to ask do you like my new background?? 8 !

[Thursday 2nd December 2004 17:24] [ mood | blah ] [ music | our lady peace ] have you ever spent a long time looking forward to something, but then a situation can change your mind? as soon as i finished my gcses, i was SO looking forward to uni. i was getting prospectuses sent to me, and i was choosing my course etc etc. i sent my forms off really early this yr, and ive got a great offer from my fav uni. but about a month and a half ago, i started getting really worried, because i didnt want to leave my friends. i have a very close small group of friends (there are 5 of us who are SO close - so close that other ppl find us intimidating), and it looks like we are all going to be scattered across the country at different unis. i really dont want to go away and find out that im not going to have friends like that. and i dont want to come back to london one day, and find out that they want nothing to do with me. on top of this, a month ago i met the most amazing guy ever. we hit it off immediately and i feel so close to him. ive never felt this way for anyone before, and i know this is going to last. but i dont know what we are going to do when i go to uni. it would be hell only being able to see him once a week. but then again, i dont want things to end in august - cause that would be even more painful. i dont want to leave him. and i dont want to leave my girls. i love them all too much. am i being stupid? am i being childish? im feeling lost. do you guys know what i mean at all?!?!? 7 !

[Thursday 2nd December 2004 17:11] [ mood | content ] [ music | nout ] i just booked mars volta tickets! yay. its gonna be great (it better be for 40 quid!) 2 !

[Wednesday 1st December 2004 16:10] [ mood | tired ] [ music | mars volta ] im so bored, and so tired. i should really post something a little bit more interesting. hmmmm 1 !

[Sunday 21st November 2004 17:41] [ mood | tired ] [ music | nichts ] lol, loads of you cared about my last post!! lol met prince phillip today. need to go to g's tonight to drop off his boots which he left here - honestly!! 14 !

[Thursday 18th November 2004 17:42] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | killers ] i found this from a may entry and thought id re-post it cause it seemed fun. i have changed a couple, because they were situational. ( 101 things about me - that you probably dont really care about ) you should do it too !

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